The Price Of Expectations

Apr 06, 2021
The Price Of Expectations

Lately I’ve noticed how much expectation impacts how we experience life and parent our teens. Our brain like to tell us we’re in control–when in fact we’re not.

Often we don’t realize how much expectation underlies our thinking until things don’t work out the way we want or think they should.

Then we face the uncomfortable reality that things don’t always turn out the way we want. Life is a journey that exceeds intellectual understanding.

Emotions arising from unmet expectations include feeling angry, disappointed, betrayed or hopeless. 

When we have unmet expectations about ourselves or something we’d like to have happen, we can do the work to process our emotions and determine next steps.

But when we place expectations on our kids for what they should achieve, how they should do it, and what their life should look like, we often justify these expectations.

And when they go unmet we often try harder to control our kids to obtain the result we want.

Consider the pressure of those expectations. How much do they create resistance, arguments, or withdrawal?

Anxious teens already have overloaded brains, feelings of self-doubt and self-criticism. Are our expectations realistic? And do they serve them or us?

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